It's almost officially fall. I think fall is my favorite season, especially in Southern California because the weather is gorgeous. Not too hot, not too cold. Just right.
I've been home for a little over a week now and it's been wonderful to just settle back into my routine a bit. Sounds silly, but I welcome the small occasions of domestication. One day I went crazy and emptied out my closets. Four large bags of unwanted clothing, bedding, jewelry and trinkets went to the Goodwill. I employed my sisters to come over and take some of the "nicer junk" off my hands; things like jeans and dresses that I will never be able to fit in again. Ahem, my days of being really skinny are officially over because I haven't the willpower to starve myself!
So, it's back to the grind. I am teaching fitness again, as well as piano and voice lessons. I think I should start charging more for my private lessons because I'm driving a lot and the money I make isn't really even worth the gas...we'll see. I hate asking for money. I hate money, period. I love it when I have it, but I hate that I don't have it now. I am tired of "learning my lesson". I just want money to steadily flow into my bank account. Not that I don't want to work for it, I do! I just want it to be steady so I don't have to worry about how my bills will be paid, how I can scrape together money for the mortgage. I don't even want to think about my property taxes, which will be due in November. That, on top of no tour pay...yikes.
Another wave of babies are coming. Everyone is having babies. I can't afford to have a baby, even if I wanted to. I can't even feed my chickens. I hate that I can't take care of dependents.
However, this picture of little Vincent High makes me want to have a baby.
I think I actually want to steal him. If you haven't visited Becky's blog yet, please do. Whenever I'm having a bad day, I look at the pictures of her gorgeous children and I feel better. Especially when I read Vincent's T-shirt slogans.
I know things will get better -- I know that, somehow, we will be able to pay our bills this month. And, oddly enough, it's good to be in this humbling position from time to time. I just wish I were better at saving money, being a "better steward". I know that I am probably better off than most people in the world, and for that I am thankful.
Just anxious -- no, curious, really -- for what's to come.
2 comments:
You are not alone, and you can afford to have kids when you are ready. You can always sell your blood ;)
We can't afford these kids either. George told me a few weeks ago that he isn't ready for kids, now that #3 is on the way. Maybe we can arrange a kid sharing program with you guys. I've heard of people doing this with their pets...what do you think?
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