Sometimes I feel like my life is really petty. I've been browsing blogs tonight and all of them have such meaningful posts...Jesse posts amazing insight at the suffering of the homeless, Amber beautifully posts about the fire in San Diego, Amy pours her heart out about the loss of a precious baby boy, Becky shares the sweetest stories about her gorgeous children, Melissa posts brilliance all the time, Abby posts of her true daily struggles as she adjusts to life in Oregon.
I post about buying socks.
And funny sayings of piano students.
And I complain about not getting the parts I want on TV or having to go to rehearsal instead of performing in a matinee on Sunday.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Here's the thing -- and don't get too excited -- I think I've really come into this time of my life where I realize that I am not the most important person. Don't get me wrong: I'm excited to go on tour and make money and have a great time, but I'm also sad that I will be missing precious time with family and friends. When I go on the road I usually change my tune - it's all go, go, go, perform, have fun, think about myself. But sooner or later that's going to get really old, right?
I love to perform. It makes me feel more than alive, but sometimes I am left wanting more. The highs are so high and the lows are extremely low...I just want something "in between". What that is I don't exactly know yet. The possibilities are endless, I am impatient - I want success NOW. And then somewhere in there I know that I eventually want to have a family.
Anyway. I will be signing off for a while, but don't worry - I'll be back with stories from the road! So, please - visit my dear friends' blogs. They are amazing people and I am blessed to know them!
7 comments:
Oh, NO! My MOMMY is going on the road with me. AUGHHHH!!!!
Leslie, I love you. I think you forgot to mention my blogs about barf on our couch and the time Jack tried to saw the cat with the pizza cutter...this is life my dear, the nitty-gritty. Our blogs aren't meant to be constantly profound, they're a means to stay in touch. I'd much rather hear about which socks you bought, then not hear from you at all. So when you return I plan on hearing all about how you hated it and loved it all at the same time, because that my dear is you and YOU is who I love.
Leslie... you wrote "Jesse posts amazing insight at the suffering of the homeless." This is true. I did. Once. If you'll notice, the posting before it was about a website that sells knit fetish wear and the posting today is about naming a giant vagina puppet.
What's wrong with a posting about a hilarious piano student and the fact that you had to spend a ridiculous amount of money on nylons?
We all post about what's going on for us. I had a perspective moment that I chose to share with all of you. I think this post of yours is you doing the same. Don't feel bad about having this time in your life being 'all about you.' There is no shame in enjoying what you've accomplished. In fact, it has to be all about you. Try reframing your thoughts and seeing your situation like I see your situation: you're doing things that are 'all about you' so that your name gets out there, so that mamma lands a sitcom, so that once Phenomenal Larry makes his entrance you won't have to figure out the public bus routes in order to get him to piano lessons.
What's wrong with you? Nothing! As an ex-performer, I live vicariously through you. Do you have any idea how many of my friends saw those pictures of you in your snow-bunny outfit when you were singing backup for Brian Setzer?
Enjoy yourself. Hope you have a blast. Can't wait to hear all about it.
Amy and Jesse: You are SO right. I have to admit, I was having a total PMS meltdown last night: this morning I worked out, went shopping and got free coffee (Nordstrom!). I feel much better.
Truly, though, I know this is where I'm supposed to be right now. It's awfully fun, but I suppose I feel guilty in that sometimes. I can always take it out on Phenomenal Larry later on. :)
I LOVE you, my friends! And Jess, the angora WillyWarmer was about the best thing I've seen lately...can't wait to read about vaginas.
teehee! total PMS meltdown... did you look at Putney and start crying???
HAHAHAHA!!!
sorry, that still makes me laugh!
leslie, your blog is the most entertaining i know. mine is gross... about kids, babies and me being constanly depressed. how fun is that. you can come and live my life a while and i will go tour with the band, all alone, no kids, no housework, ahhh sounds glorious!!!!
Ok, so I've been out of the loop for a bit while I was in Visalia. I haven't posted on my blog for awhile, but thanks for your comment.
As for you my dear, I think you have some great posts on here. I love coming and seeing what you have to say, in fact, I feel like mine is just a bunch of nonsense...I post about dog outfits and singing "Tooty Ta" with my kids...HELLO????
You're great and I hope you keep it up while you're touring. I'm just sad that I missed the Wonderettes. I really had looked forward to it, and then all that stuff happened with my Gma. I haven't been in a normal routine for the past month or so with all my trips back and forth to Vtown. We need to get together ASAP. Good luck on your tour girlie! Make that money!! Try and stay warm and I know you'll be great! Love you!
Post a Comment