Ridiculous Rejection

This is a post that I just discovered in my May archives. Apparently I didn't post it...maybe because I was embarrassed? Anyway, enjoy.


It's baseball season. I love baseball, and I love the Dodgers.

Since I'm an awesome singer, and thanks to my friend, Stephanie, I got the wild idea that I wanted to sing the National Anthem at Dodger Stadium. I joined forces with my dear friend from Bravo's Top Design, and we tracked down a way to record me singing Francis Scott Key's handiwork. Her-dad-knows-this guy-who-lives-in-the-valley-who-used-to-be-a-deejay-in-Charleston, South Carolina-who-has-recording-equipment-and-"why don't you come over for dinner because I would really like to meet you (Andrea)" -- because he knows her dad.

So, last Friday, we hopped in Andrea's "potato" and drove out to the valley to meet these people, have dinner with them, and totally take advantage of the recording situation -- all so that I could sing this darn song. We were a bit wary at first, I mean, these people are in their late '50's and they had Waverly print wallpaper in their house. But, as the evening wore on (and the wine flowed), we ended up having a fantastic time. Our favorite person of the evening was 72-year old cousin John from Kentucky. He nursed his bourbon all night long, and was keeping up with us as we went from wine to champagne for dessert. The best thing about Cousin John from Kentucky was that he acted no older than us...he was actually very worried that he had a 74-year old girlfriend..."She's too old for me!!!"

Love it.

So, I got the recording done and had a great time with some new (older) friends.

Excitedly, I put my package in the mail: a CD, headshot and resume and a cover letter. I couldn't wait for the phone call.

Today, I checked the mail. A letter! From the Dodgers! Goodie goodie! I tore it open and scanned the page.

"Thank you for submitting a recording for National Anthem consideration here at Dodger stadium. However, for the upcoming season we are unable to extend an invitation to you to sing. The Dodgers appreciate your interest and support."

WHAT? You are rejecting ME???? A professional singer??? You are "unable to extend an invitation" to ME??? Someone who can actually hold a tune?

RIDICULOUS!

I can't even begin to think of a good reason why I wouldn't be "invited" to sing. You see, as an avid Dodgers fan and season ticket holder, I have heard many a rendition of the National Anthem. 90% of these renditions are sung poorly. I kid you not. The worst part (for me) is that these people aren't even really singers -- they work for different corporations (banks, car companies, etc.) or win radio contests. During a very special occasion, you might even catch a B-list celebrity trying to belt it out. Usually, though, the National Anthem is sung by normal, average people.

Easy, right?

I guess not.

Geeez.

Well, screw you, Dodgers. I'm better than you and your dumb 50,000-seat stadium. I'm better than the National Anthem. Angels and Giants, here I come!